I currently find myself stuck at a Red Signal at Northfields and I think I caught a dirty look and a shake of the head from one elderly woman because of the following event. I wrap my walking stick with the strap of my manbag, something I do whenever I need both hands as taking a photo of article in The Metro and sending it to a mate (Psy has to be his doppelganger) isn’t easy *awkward face*. This dilemma is beyond annoying as its that age ol’ question of was the shake of the head aimed for me but thrown to a friend on the opposite seat? or was it just dumb timing?

I’m happy my rehab has come along to the point I don’t rely on other people to give up their seats on public transport, mainly because it tends to be an impossible ask. I don’t rely on people to cook my food, wash me, clothe me but this is why I prey on the self-entitled moniker “medical inbetweener”. In society I’m useless to the extent I’m always “catching up”, not down on myself or being dramatic… Just saying how I feel. On the other hand I go to a stroke conversation group & work with other such activities aimed at people overcoming “life-altering events”. This means some of the terms I’ve heard are “lucky”, “what exactly IS affected?”, “you’re not visibly troubled”.

Yes these are perceptions, but physical perceptions. The unfortunate fact is that society tends to focus on looks before personality so this means in the 7 or 8 stops between Hounslow Central (Bend It Like Beckham) and a switch at Acton Town in order to get one the district line to Ealing Broadway, (for the purpose of this blog)… Devil Woman judged me!

Well either way I find myself in a real “Jekyll & Hyde” scenario as I’m not meant to be shallow enough to care what strangers think, but it’s hard. Couple that with “writers brain” which means though I enjoy writing and voicing opinion (not judgement) it means I’ll more than likely have a tragic ending to my life O_o

Either way the physical rehab is as well as one could ever hope for, each day is mental rehab but then my planning, maths, coordination has never been “spot on”. But I’m trying… Heavens know I’m trying, bare with me.

Advertisements