The horrible feeling I got for being “black” or for being “fat” or even a bit “short” as I know I joke about these things like they don’t matter to me and most of the times they don’t really but at the time I couldn’t help these labels so in order to say to society “like it or lump it” for these things make me who I’am today also from time-to-time I’ve said it to myself even when its not good times with the fairer sex as I can try to smooth edges but don’t try to change me as I’m sure its quite impossible with most things. I write this as I’m at the bus stop after my weekly shop for I only have two arms, a “man bag” as I’m sure I can’t lift as much as I used to so a weekly shop is better than a daily shop and as much as friends have suggested “home delivery” I’m not at a gym at the moment so to do this IS my workout as I can’t feel sorry for myself or rest on my laurels. I just find it weird how before all this I never really thought about the way I was brought up and the way that my parents taught me certain things like “not to stare”, “not speak behind someone’s back”, basically “not to badmouth”. I seriously never thought about it until now for in risk of sounding old (long time coming) I’m grateful for my upbringing as it wrecks anything kids today are brought up on! I started this at the bus stop and in nearly home so I’ll continue this tirade from there and you can read about the rather rubbish time I had of things and my “epiphany“.

Ok he’s back in “The Man Cave” (not really a man cave as it’s my bedroom so only joking) but in my necessity of going on a weekly shop I didn’t bank on it being a Half Term but to have read it on Twitter and my mum to be a dinner lady in a disability school and for basically the feel that I need to take the common sense of just knowing what to expect, but I didn’t and so I went into Feltham town centre is a thought that it couldn’t be so bad… But it was. I’m sociable and I seriously don’t like the bad reputation Feltham gets, it can be bad but don’t kick something when it’s already down as the sad fact is the way people see the town can put you off and that is an unfortunate one. In doing my shop at Asda all the children with their parents stared and I heard the comments with this it all just came back to me… Junior/Secondary School and the feel the average “Inbetweener” student gets and as much as I tried to laugh it off it’s still there and all this happened NEARLY a year ago and the feel that I couldn’t be happier with the progress I’ve made but still it feels like I want better for myself.

I went to the NFL: International Series game at Wembley only yesterday so to feel that I can still navigate and enjoy “normal things” also that as much as I’m most likely making a mountain out of a molehill as people “question what they don’t understand but unfortunately at questionable times” for the game was enjoyable and the times had with Gord, “Watmon” and Matt were a lark and how we’ll most likely have to go again next year as it tends to make life a bit more bareable so it gives us an unspoken fix… Alternative to hard drugs? So the Chicago Bears won 24-18, Manchester United lost 6-1, and Sunday quickly became forgetable for me and I need to kn0w to take the rough with the smooth. Best Manchester Derby joke so far “MCFC claim Six AND the City”, is that the best motto I’ve learnt from my appreciation for American Football? “A Good Offense is the Best Defense“?

Advertisements