It has officially begun, my dad has gone and come back from Nigeria, I can only think of the need I have for new swimming trunks… Note to self, learn how to swim, and of course, a summer without any real sport. Thus begineth the summer, just as I really need internet! As while inside The Wolfson I blogged my book, well wrote in it what I plan to expand on in the book, so to have a blog with idea of my book but in a house without WiFi… Kill me now… Oh wait! I had a feel that as much as I love my folks they talk on the phone quite loudly and for me to watch television but still hear them in a loving way take it on the road, and so I realised… It was a real Darwin moment… We have a corded phone… WTF? Cordless muthafudger! So I bought a cordless phone but so became the loose thread in the dress… I mean jumper, hella masculine! In wanting to change the phone and my mum’s hording an already frail broadband cable came undone and so we had (mediocre) television and a working telephone but no broadband and a year or two ago not a big deal but now it clearly is as I needed internet to use the blogs as inspiration for the book, and basically when not writing the book, to just write on the blog as I do love a bit of writing. But then you find out it’s not ALL BAD, O2 mobile internet, not that dongle internet, that internet literally on my mobile phone and sure it’s lame for my mum but I had mobile internet, top of the world right? WRONG! O2 for mobile phone coverage, let alone internet is a joke, a terminal illness level joke… What do I pay for? So having to find out ways of how to reactive a problematic service, but I’ve been relegated to the fact that all mobile phone coverage in Hanworth is bad, Adolf Hitler level bad, so with no internet, no real sport, what the hell for a Negro to do?
Now this is where people will say “Women’s World Cup”, “The [British] Open”, “Horsey’s”, I won’t dog what other people like, but take this for note, I only recognised cricket as a sport in a certain 2005, it wouldn’t know thrilling if it’s players had ants in their pants… Ok… ONE dig. So having to position my phone and myself into a specific corner of my mum and dad’s bedroom to get a single bar of 3G coverage, then for it to cut out and then for it to basically go to “standard-G”? “G-G”? “normal G”? “1G”? and then take an age to load a page just to say “failed”… Good times! So I’ve relegated even further, to negate the whole thing, bite the bullet and then pay Starbucks the £5 for a Reward Card and free WiFi… I feel like such a student! I used to joke that I’d never be so pretentious. If Alex 5 years ago saw me today, he’d kill me… with a Spork! Not a spoon, not a fork, that’s not a good way to go, would rather piss off the Russian AND Italian (imagine a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger) mafia! I have an iPhone and I’m relying on Starbucks, and I’m “living” in Conservative run England… SPORK RIGHT NAW… IN THE EYE!
So this weekend is my cousin Aurelle’s birthday, her 1st birthday, so as much as I’m loving the ‘Heritage 2 Health’ organisation and the things it does (3 mile walks from Richmond to Ham House’s, a walk up Leith Hill, I’m sure there’s more), I can’t make it this weekend as I don’t want a 1 year old annoyed at me, I know an ice cream could fix that, but “start as you mean to go on”… I can’t keep rolling out ice creams. So away I go now to copy my blogs to Microsoft Word as this is seriously killing me… Allow n0 internet… hurry up broadband cable! Yes, this is why there’s a dip in my Facebook and Twitter. It’s how my friend Sarah knew something was up (My stroke)… LOL! ROFTLcopter even… BRINGING IT BACK!