The expression I keep using is “The car might look fine, but you need to check under the hood”, I mean it because I said it *giggles to himself* Unfortunately its everything else that life seems to throw in my face for simply looking at people and things like I used to is all so surreal for me. Each time I find myself thinking “I’m out of the woods”, then I’m pulled back in and not like I’m important or “the be all end all” of the world but yeah, I saw an amazing quote by Kevin Love of Cleveland Cavaliers fame, not as much fame as Kyrie Irving or Lebron James, but there is some remnants of fame in the man.
Amen Mr Love… Amen, and with such a surname my level of appreciation and man-crush for the man has grown exponentially. Do I appreciate him as much as I do Kyrie Irving, maybe not as to play for “my” Boston Celtics is the only way to go. But besides that little discrepancy that man is epic winning in my book and will forever be a winner (omitting the Celtics or the Orlando Magic, take those teams out of the equation and he’s my favourite player). Well this entry is more musings and more thoughts as we all know I get enough of them and my head just wants to explode sometimes.
Unless you live on Mars or under a rock OR under a rock on Mars, you must know by now that Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington took his own life on the 20th July 2017, found by his housekeeper in his California home as a result of hanging. Ironically on former Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog lead singer Chris Cornell’s birthday but he was another celebrity that took his life only 2 months earlier, this begs a serious question are the two linked somehow but that is neither here nor there and I just don’t know what to make of this one bit. I’m not even going to sugarcoat things as I’m so angry and so annoyed at the situation as I know humanity has been around long before I was born and will be there long after I’m dead *touch wood* but the only way I can say it is that it’s 11th August 2017 where I find myself in the Hounslow branch of Starbucks, I’ve never felt so heartbroken by a “celebrity death” and nothing has come close since maybe Princess Diana but I think I was too young in 1997. To think I was an 11 year old boy when that happened in that Parisian tunnel, but this suicide hit me as a 31 year old man as this is when I admit a thing scarcely mentioned, in fact even thought about… *deep breath*as I’m not the rock pillar you see today*sarcasm detected* but yeah… Linkin Park and Chester Bennington’s voice in particular got me through many a dark day and night as he knew just what to say. I doubt I’m special in this regard as yes not just mental health but teenage angst is oft “problematic”.
This means all the rubbish I’ve had to go through and all the drama and strife that goes through one’s mind when I was at a cricket match when an acquaintance mentioned it to me. A bit male banter, a bit “I don’t want to believe it” but I simply retorted “thanks for ruining my day”, even Middlesex winning a T20 match against Kent couldn’t soften the blow and to be honest it took another day or two before I genuinely took it in and believed it. I say a day or two but that cricket match was on 20th July 2017, to think I heard about The Garage doing a fundraiser for Mind as we’re in an age of time when these things can’t be hushed anymore but at the same time just to know that if people are willing to talk, people are willing to listen. So that night in London was well and truly out of my remit but then to be honest what a stone cold, amazing cause and it was just the tonic I needed to allure me out of my shell.
There’s something unique and rather niche about those into rock music, into alternative, indie, you name it as whatever it is in particular the style of music just breeds a certain following that means even in lining up to get in everybody was super nice and super helpful. The kind of situation that means I haven’t lost all hope in humanity but it is well and truly on life-support as I just can’t smile like I used to and it’s times I think back to Shawn Michaels when he gave up his World Championship back in February 1997. Either way this was how I saw everything I had lost somewhat and just taking some time out just to find myself and it was in Chester’s death that it was that jolt NEEDED to re-introduce myself with the “real world”, can’t feel sorry for myself all day I suppose and so yes Chester Bennington’s death is a sad one and it clearly can’t be forgotten, but maybe it’s “too soon” but I do honestly try to find the good in ANY situation and in this death I challenged myself and though I can only speak for myself I just pray that this death wasn’t in vain and it touched another human being as the night was a raging success and I read that it raised upwards of £4000 for MIND as well as has spun off plans for another night in Brighton that’ll hopefully raise even higher so dare I say it but “you’ve gotta crack some eggs, to make an omelette”.
Surprise-Surprise you lucky people, I’m writing about this amazing and magical piece of cinematography that had a run time of 2h 21m. To think this whole “gender equality” thing is here if we like it or not and personally I live in a family with a nan, four aunts, my mum, a sister, and two awesome cousins, it means I have to embrace women if I want to or not. So to think Ghostbusters came out last year and though not a patch on the original it most definitely did a job and I didn’t overly mind it (and personally preferred it to Ghostbusters II) but in a nutshell that’s society sometimes. Try and pigeonhole films, or genres, or opinions… Just let them be for goodness sake without much scrutiny please. What made Wonder Woman a million times more unique from the female-led cast of that remake was how Wonder Woman was chaired by a female director. Just for the record that female directors name is Patty Jenkins, maybe known for directing a couple of episodes on one of my favourite programmes of the noughties Entourage, a couple more episodes on the epic Danish import turned for American audiences The Killing (she directed the pilot no less).
Then another favourite and cult classic one episode on Arrested Development. Last and by no means least Patty Jenkins directed Monster starring the Oscar winning Charlize Theron, so the pedigree is an amazing one and I’m genuinely happy I wrote this entry as I’d never have found out otherwise as my “ear isn’t to the ground” with pop culture information like it used to be but that doesn’t make it any less impressive all the same. Compared to Ghostbusters Paul Feig that has a slew of films to his resume such as Spy, The Heat, Bridesmaids, and Nurse Jackie to name a few and though all very good it just seems like chairing Patty Jenkins gave notification of intent.
How amazing was this film with the horrid history of DC Comics movies? Their filmography is beyond a joke but this film may singlehandedly give The Avengers a run for their money. Not many of those as in the great war between Marvel & DC, as Marvel is just tripping over itself with its cinematic gems as who in a million years even thought Guardians Of The Galaxy was even a thing as I had personally never even heard of it but then out came a worldwide opening weekend of $160.7 million, not bad at all. Either way these films have that argument like “Messi or Ronaldo”, “Boston Celtics or LA Lakers”, “Boyzone or Westlife”… Or something like that. Well I find myself watching Wonder Woman and it was amazing, maybe the best DC comicbook related film since The Dark Knight, I jokingly made a meme about that and I genuinely believe that one. Either way this film just felt like a legit shot at credibility as it had a litany of acting chops as actors like Chris Pine, Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright, Danny Huston, and David Thewlis just to name a few. A cast list that beats many other films in the same DCMU that’s for sure.
Either way I could happily endorse Wonder Woman and if you have to rationalise things as it’s contesting a film that had to have an actor die before his time in order to even enter the conversation. I thoroughly doubt The Dark Knight would have had the same gravitas if Heath Ledger didn’t unfortunately die, I’ll say it. As good a film as The Dark Knight was, I just doubt it is all its cracked up to be as a posthumous Oscar win, really? I just know I haven’t felt so griped, moved, or as passionate about a film in the DCMU in the longest time if that ever. For that reason I’m thinking a purchase on DVD is essential and if you don’t agree I don’t think you know cinema or comic-books very well and for that my deepest condolences.
This is one of those horrible moments when you look in the mirror and realise an inconvenient truth. The world doesn’t have your heart or your beliefs, hope and trust, instead it can kind of exploit and make you feel small if you let it. Well there’s two ways of going about this as either one way is:
In all honesty lets get to it as I made plans to meet up with a friend in Euston and it all got a bit surreal as some people are just so used to their own world and their own surroundings as it was all just a bit too much as on the way to the train station I had to get on a bus and it was a real surprise when just standing in that bay I stood next to a guy and maybe it was because I may have mumbled a sorry if standing in the way of the guy but the guy reacted by trying to push me over. I’m a lover not a fighter but I genuinely felt like the guy didn’t know about the journey I’d so I politely showed him and gave him the nice line “have a nice day”… I thank Mick Foley for that one.
When I finally got to the tube station I made myself up the stairs and with a luggage bag somebody asks if I needed a hand. Well at least the kindness of strangers was alive and well. There are certain beliefs that I have always implemented and one is do good things and good things will in essence happen to you, its tougher to live by as each day goes by but I do still believe it.
As much as I went to Nigeria to visit faaaaaaaaaamily, I simply can’t travel 3110 miles every day. I have to record videos and take pictures as there’s something about family-ties. They push you, they hold you back, there’s just always more to them than what first appear. The ultimate transformers, robots in disguise? Well I’m back as a visit was a visit, due back in Xmas. Dual Nationality is kinda sexy *bad joke*, fun all the same. I never flaunted my dual nationality until lately but I don’t know. Unless an ethnic minority, I just don’t know if people fully understand. I’m as passive as they come. Maybe a bit too passive but I refuse to ever play “the race card”, never been my thing. People that know me, know that. It’s a personal baggage people have. People just have to think positively and somewhat ignore the noise, a lot-a lot of noise. Trick is, you just have to be accessable for change. When I hear negative comments like “I’m too old” or “I’m too young”, or “I’m not the right race”. Unless told bluntly, do what I do… Ignore it and rise above it. You have to. All noise. Coming to this conclusion has taken a while.
Got a great read on a book my dad lent me called ‘The Magic Of Thinking BIG‘. It’s the kind of book that merely soothes the metaphorical edges of my life, also I may just learn an extra thing or two along the way. Any Nigerian that has been to Nigeria, dual national or not will know just how though it’s a different speed, I’m happy all the same that I’m a man of dual nationality, Got a great picture for inspiration, can’t fly 3110 miles each day I’m afraid. Well typing all the same and I’ll be honest, it’s far too good as it says thinking like that is clearly bad. I accept that, I believe that. It was a nice study room read all the same, read a book on Sports Journalism as well. I read Scott Pilgrim vs. The World as well. Loved the film. It didn’t make my list but it was epic. Either way that whole concept sat with me SO WELL and I think if people haven’t already seen it, do so. Either way I may just watch it tonight. Well now I’m thinking I seriously need to look toward certain things, it’s hard as I dwell and that sucks. Something about this house, I feel really logey. Taught a friend about that with the definition “the opposite feeling reading a book gives you”.
Well now looking forward to a creative writing course at RAAC which starts next month, otherwise fix my tablet (so many blogs on that thing), well can’t stop until I’m dead, even being a stroke survivor. A great BBC Three documentary aired recently about one brain injury survivor from a skiing trip, insightful.
This is my past time, I honestly love blogging more than I love most hobbies in my life. It’s the most capable thing left I can do as I’ve recently had quite a rollercoaster time of it. But it’s been beyond character-building and I’ve met some great people along the way and even had some new experiences as a result. This means I’ve had to adjust as though I thoroughly believe in the current climate it’s easy just to give up, now more than ever. But its simply not an option, “get rich or die trying” per sé, well call this “Custer’s Last Stand” as I’m not licked yet. I find myself talking with my family so much more than I used to, my mum’s swell but lets be honest, the dynamic of this house and this family is a cray one, but it’s all very “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. This means starting to embrace my parents and my ethnic origins a lot-a lot more. I know family is important but it’s only when something like this happens, do you realise just how important. I’m watched football with my dad, Swansea vs Manchester City, then it was Manchester United vs. Arsenal. I’m honestly not a big football fan for I prefer American Football as we all know but it’s all just a pause on life. I’ve never been a die hard, I’ve a life and I’ve had to realise that football is a nice getaway, but its simply not my life, doesn’t pay the bills.
I tried college again after all of this; the blogs, the enrolling, the course, I loved it all. Unfortunately it all became very real but what can I say. I want to try another bite of the cherry. The support I thought I had has been somewhat flaky so I’ve had to find a new path to my vision. I can be a bit vague and a bit cryptic so I expect people to be a bit more “why?”, “how come?”, but they don’t and so assumption is just too nutty. I believe in “treat people the same way you want to be treated”, but some people just don’t have it in them, the world can be a bit harsh and cut-throat but I don’t know. Real friends can understand surely? Well “my bad”, I think Shrek had a great quote. Great metaphor. How can’t people understand that? That whole “what you see is what you get” isn’t me. I’d prefer a question or two for odds are it’s a GRAVE mistake and overreaction. But we don’t know if we don’t ask. Either way the psychosis of Alexander Adetokunbo Adeboye III Esq (the III Esq is a bad long-running joke, I wish they stood in my name though). Either way got informed of a Richmond AID “job club“, that’s a nice plan for a Tuesday. I like writing as my blogs show, its simply direction and passion that can fluctuate but I’ve had a bit to sportingly write about now. The fact England’s “Lionesses” are doing well and dumped out the host country… I can’t complain. And “my girl” Kadeisha Buchanan featured in the 2-1 England win, how that hair means she is typically “winning” in my books. Also best. site. EVER!
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I’ve still got my youthful exuberance but it’s a situation that has me in a situation where “growing up” is just a fact of life. H2H has rebuilt that confidence so my latest blog needs to be mentioned. It’s the personal blogging that may be a bit more sporadic nowadays, but hopefully the conviction and […]
I think its terrible I’ve been a bit lax recently on these blog posts. With the lovely weather, the cheery disposition of anyone in these summer months I really don’t have any reason sometimes. But could this be the microcosm of one possible aspect of stroke recovery, or my own stroke recovery? Sometimes biting off […]